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[27 Feb 2006|04:21pm] |
Joey is my hero.
Honestly,.... I wish I could be like her... so pretty, so funny.. so amazing...
Everyone should want to be like joey.
I think im going to make her my role model... or lover...
Although I don't know how that would work out... we both like men
______________
EDIT~
Ok...so joey hacked into my LJ.
but i still love her hahah
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| I love this |
[30 Oct 2005|06:56pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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Guster - Come Downstairs and Say Hello |
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A TRUE FRIEND
Are you sick of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound like Hallmark cards, and never come close to reality?
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry &*^%$ who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had sex.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why, you ask? Because you are my friend.
Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of two, and one of them isn't speaking to you anyway.
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[18 Oct 2005|12:12pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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If you are reading this, leave one memory of you and I together! It doesn't matter if I know you a little or a lot, anything you remember! Next, post this in your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you.
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[20 Jan 2005|05:11pm] |
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This is the last PUBLIC post I am making. I deleted the last post becuase it was getting way out of hand, and just getting ridiculous. I never asked for anyone to defend or argue. I simply posted how I felt on MY livejournal. Which you know, is what its here for. So, with that in mind, sorry for anyone who had to waste their time reading the following comments, becuase after all, they were that: a waste. Now, to move on with our lives..
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[20 Jan 2005|02:10pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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music |
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Simon and Garfunkel - Hazy Shade of Winter |
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As for whoever read my last post. Fun comments page, lol. It's over now, so no more commenting there please. If there is, i will just delete the page, there's no point. I know there are better things out there for me, and that I deserve them. So with that in mind, I am happy ^^
However in the meantime...I HAVE SO MUCH FRIGGIN WORK TO DO! ahhhhh (haha and im screwing myself over by going to Laurier...oh well! hehe)
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[19 Jan 2005|10:04pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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Metisse - Boom Boom Ba |
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I'm over it! YAY!!!!! I can finally sit back and realize what a good thing not being with Kevin is anymore...now that I really see who he is, and how he actually made me feel in the end, and how he treat me now (like garbage pissed on by shit...if that makes sense) I can allow myself NOT to feel that way. AND I AM HAPPY NOW. SO with that in mind...I think I can easily say that...sure i get upset sometimes, but in the long run, I realize what a good thing it is. It was fun while it lasted....well...till november really. It sucks that a 5 year friendship is gone, but that wasn't my choice.
SO on another note, marks are up, and I got ALL B's!!! YAY. I'm happy about that...its not an A, but its not a C either, and for Sheridan classes...that's not bad!!! YAY hehe
Can't wait for this weekend! LAURIER!!! w00t
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| Hypnotic experience.... |
[19 Jan 2005|01:29am] |
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mood |
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 great |
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music |
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Iam Robot - Scream |
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Alright, so Tony Lee was soo much fun! I can't beleive I actually fell asleep though...like honestly, I didn't really want to do it, I wanted to watch, BUT I guess I did in some way. So let me walk you through what I experienced:
Ok...sooo relaxed when he was beginning, and like actually was falling asleep..when he said that I hated my friends and to go with him...I opened my eyes, and I felt so...lightheaded, and I really DID not want to be sitting there. It was so weird, like I know i didn't hate them...but at the same time, I felt like I *should*. Straaange.
So I'm up on stage...and literally collapsed...like every muscle in my body was completly relaxed. I didn't care AT ALL (I felt high haha). Like when he woke me up and was like "hey, how you doing?" and I smiled and just as I smiled he was like "sleeeeep" and i just collapsed again. It was funny. Well...now that I'm thinking about it anyway. Like I could hear everyone laughing and everything...I dont know haha.
I actually was changing temperature though when he was like "it was getting hot and cold" thing. Like...it was getting hard to concentrate on some of the things he was saying because ppl were laughing a lot.
I woke up though...or started to wake up a bit, when we got to the car part...and how we were driving a car...I dont know how to drive a car...so I started to get confused and thought too much, and was like "but i dont know how to drive a car." So i woke up....and I'm kind of happy, because after that was when all the sexual things came out. But wow...it felt sooo weird. I Liked it though! hehe
I would definitly do it again (knowing that it wouldn't be all like..having an orgasm on stage and all) but yeah. Good times.
Oh...and that guy from OkCupid emailed me again...I dont want to email him back...maybe he will get the hint. :S
Nobody is on MSN right now, its so sad lol. I'm sooo awake! ahhhh
Well, I'm getting excited for Laurier this weekend. Gonna be fun!!
ps. This song is amazing.
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| One of my favorite poems... |
[17 Jan 2005|08:07pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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music |
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Aerosmith - Jaded |
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A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM
by Edgar Allan Poe
(1827)
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
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[16 Jan 2005|01:13am] |
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mood |
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 thirsty |
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"Falling in love is always magical. It feels eternal, as if love will last forever. We naively beleive that somehow we are exempt from the problems our parents had, free from the odds that love will die, assured that it is meant to be and that we are destined to live happily ever after.
But as the magic recedes and daily life takes over, it emerges that men continue to expect women to think and react like men, and women expect men to feel and behave like women. Without a clear awarness of our differences, we do not take the time to understand and respect each other. We become demanding, resentful, judgmental, and intolerant.
With the best and most loving intentions love continues to die. Somehow the problems creep in. The resentments build. Commnication breaks down. Mistrust increases. Rejection and repression result. The magic of love is lost."
Its true though. And its sad...but I guess its not the case scenario all the time...right?
On a lighter note, Going to florida with vicky during reading week! Should be lots of fun, though it hasn't really sunk in yet. I haven't travelled without my parents before, so it should be interesting trying to find our way around the airport hahaha
Dinner tonight was really fun btw.
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[13 Jan 2005|11:26pm] |
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mood |
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sick |
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I feel sick.
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[12 Jan 2005|01:55pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
] |
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music |
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U2 - I will follow |
] |
I dont like food anymore for some reason.The thought of eating sorta makes me naucious. And when I do eat, I feel sick afterwards...and I dont even eat that much. I couldn't even finish my wings at Duffs last night, and I haven't eaten anything yet today, and I dont want to...but I'm too afraid to get a migraine or wahtever...ahhh stupid. I'm probably going to get sick becuase I'm not getting enough of anything in me right now.
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[11 Jan 2005|11:30pm] |
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mood |
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 hyper |
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music |
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U2 - Vertigo |
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Tonight was something that I really needed. It was so much fun!! Me, Mark, Glen, Jesse, Kiril, and Anatoli (yay me with all guys haha) went to Duffs. They all (minus me and Kiril, who got Honey Garlic) got super hot or something, and omg...it was too funny. Their faces were so red! And mark spilt all his water on himself becuase he was reaching for the straw but tilted the cup as though he was going to drink from the side...he had like no feeling on his face haha. He also had a blue lollipop and I didn't like those so I said "i dont like the blue lolipops" and mark was like "mine's green though." and he did realize that it was blue! He said that he thought it felt like green or something. i dont know haha he's just too funny.
I signed up for this OkCupid thing...put some photos and a bit about myself just to see you know? I got like 50 emails and IMs or whatever...buuut I deleted my thing. My parents were all like "I CAN"T BELEIVE YOUR DOING THAT DELETE IT NOW" haha. so i did. Oh welll. Guys still thought I was really pretty, so that boosted my self esteem a bit, considering how low it has been recently. ^^
I think I am going to write my astronomy essay on the Gemini Observatory..they seem interesting enough. I have an in-class assignment on something that I do NOT understand...so I'm goign to go try to research a bit on it so I can leave early.
btw, I'm starting to like U2 now haha. Whod've thunk it??
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| Been a week... |
[09 Jan 2005|07:38pm] |
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mood |
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 indifferent |
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I feel like I'm lost at sea or something...my emotions feel like waves that keep receding and the randomly crashing down upon me...suffocating me...drowning me. There are moments where nothing bothers me, and I feel like how I used to, but then the waves come again...and again...do they ever stop?
My parents get home tomorrow night, thank god. I miss them...isn't that weird? I can't wait to be able to go home and have them there...
I did some homework today. But not much. I feel like i shoudl've done more, but I have a lack of supplies here, and I wasn't really paying much attention in class...its been a full week now. I was upset this afternoon. I really was. Fucking waves.
What ticks me off the most, is that he probably doesn't even care anymore about anything...even that we used to be 'best friends' and now its like nothing ever happened. I guess that's the difference between men and women...guys can let go of anything without even showing that it hurts them (if it even does) or that it meant anything to them...and women...well....we all know what women do.
There are times when I am strong, but then I just long for the guy I fell in love with last April...he disappeared a few months ago though. Changed completly into something I didnt know...didn't recognize. I know I have to move on, becuase there's no point in dwelling in it....but these damn waves. At least I'm eating more now. Two full meals a day instead of one or none.
Life is so different now. Remember highschool when things were so easy? Or well, we thought it wasn't, but it really was. Most of us have been thrust into adulthood in many different ways....
.....Fucking waves....
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[08 Jan 2005|02:33pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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I saw the Westmount play last night, and it was actually pretty good hehe. I went to see the rehersals somtimes, and I love how every year its the same with how the cast pulls it all together right at the end...though I feel sorry for dolha with the stress of that knowledge haha. Everyone did awesome though, but ADAM YOU WERE FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!! hehe
Last night was a lot of fun though, thanks everyone who cheered me up. Went to Kelsey's and cheated the waitress out of letting me show he my non existant ID and got a tirasmoothie with the kaluha in it. mwahaha
It was fun seeing ppl in town too that I haven't seen in a while (even if they go to school in town still). Like Ross, and Hirel, and Rasmov (oh joey, btw, he has this beard thing going on...looks...weird...but Karasik has it too (looks better on him though)). Lots of laughing.
After Kelsey's Judy, Glen and Mark came back to my place and we watched 50 Dates. Cute movie...not realistic i dont think, but definitly cute. Sandler can only sometimes pull of a semi-serious role. I dont think he yelled once like he usually does in his stupid way in that movie. Maybe I'll watch Punch Drunk Love with Judy later. Too many movies about love haha.
I haven't done any of my homework for this week....I should get back into the swing of things by next week. At least that way ill be at home and able to work. ....I just got the feeling that I lost my music folder...fuck...fuck fuck fuck fuck...i really think I left it in the music hall. FUCK. ok...better go look now...ttyl.
..no i probably did. shit.
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| It's Over... |
[02 Jan 2005|10:23pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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You know...I always thought this would happen....it was something on my mind a lot....especially recently. And I definitly felt it on New Years. That I would lose him. and I have. I lost my Kevin. I suppose its been going downhill for a few months now...I haven't been as happy...and he's been lying about being happy. The word love means nothing I suppose. It's hard for me....its the first time my heart has been broken...first time for many things. You think he could've had the balls to tell me in person...not over the phone.
I tried.....oh how I tried. I gave everything...and look where it got me. I will learn though...and go on...its said...and hurts like hell. And could definitly have been avoided. But....some people dont like taking responsibility for their own actions...and confronting them when it counts. Most people give up.
Was it all a lie?
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| Happy New Year |
[01 Jan 2005|03:45pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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Its 2005...and you have nothing holding you back. It's a brand new year, with no mistakes in it, your's to do what you please with. Make this year something special, to withold throughout the years. Make it last, and stand out, and never, ever take it for granted. This is your time. Cherish every moment of it. Even when there are rough times, think of all the happiness you have standing right in front of you. You have your family, friends, your life. You always have your life, your identity. And even though that identity might change as you grow older, its still you. You make the choices in your life. Only you (can prevent forest fires hahaha...no) can take yourself out of a rut, and bring yourself back up again. Relying on others for that probably isn't the greatest thing...but knowing that they are there shall be your backbone.
Thankyou to all of you who made my backbone...you all mean so much to me...more than you'll ever know. Happy New Year, may all your dreams and aspirations come true in the years to come.
I love you Kevin.
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| Banish the Expectations |
[26 Dec 2004|01:07pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Vivaldi - Cello Concerto |
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It's mine and Kevin's 8 month today. It really seems like just yesterday that we were all still at westmount, and I was still just dreaming of being able to be with him.
I think I've come to realize that no matter how hard you dont want to be like something...or someone for that matter...most things are subconcious. Like expectations...you should have some....but they really shouldn't be the judge of what makes you happy...like you expect people to do things, and if they dont, you get upset right? So what if you just..didn't expect them to? The "shoulds" of life are decieving. People do what they want regardless of them. You SHOULD do this, and you SHOULDN'T be that. Why is our society so keen on these boundaries? Why are WE so obsessed with these "shoulds". We should be happy. We shouldn't be sad. WHY can't we just be who the hell we want...and be happy about it. Why can't someone do something, or not do something without someone getting upset?
I guess that's just life?
Maybe we're not supposed to know. Maybe its just some fantastical subconcious being in our imagination urging us to live our lives with these ...guidlines... that becuase we're so incomprehensible as human beings that we can't know when to feel happy or upset, that we need them. We need to know what we want? Why can't...we just be happy with things without writin ga biography about WHY we are happy.
Why do I keep asking these questions as though they will be answered. What will I gain from this post, other than listening to my Vivaldi Cello Concerto and feeling somewhat able to pour my thoughts onto this computer screen?
............
I wonder if my parents are happy.
I dont want to be like them when I get married. I dont want to be like my mother, who shows no sense of compassion to my father in public. Is that another should? Does she think she shouldn't?
I wonder if I'll be happy.
I wonder if my friends are truly there for me if I needed them, as I hope they know I am here for them in return.
I wonder so many things...especially when things conflict the "shoulds". Maybe I should banish the expectations. Maybe then, it wouldn't matter.
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[21 Dec 2004|07:04pm] |
Shakespeare: Sonnets. Everyone has heard of you,
and almost everybody can find something
touching in you. You are calm and control
yourself, even though your wisdom and your
messages are no lesser than those of others.
Which literature classic are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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